The Worst of the Worst Movies Review: Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959)

So over the past few weeks, I’ve felt like I watch too many good movies. Well, that changes with me announcing a new series of reviews:

The Worst of the Worst Movies!

For this series, I review a film that considered a bad film by many, be it from the “List of Films Considered the Worst” list on Wikipedia, or by Mystery Science Theater 3000, or IMDb’s Bottom 100, or the Razzies (note: I don’t take the Razzies very seriously, they hated The Shining when it first came out!), or otherwise. And what other film to start with than Plan 9 From Outer Space, one of the most famous bad films of all time!

Plan 9 From Outer Space was released in 1959 and was directed by Ed Wood, who I personally like to call the Tommy Wiseau of the ’50’s. It follows… Well, a ton of hilariously bad shit. From the hilariously bad effects where you can see the wires and boom mics, to the hilariously bad dialogue to the hilariously bad story following… Alien zombies, I guess?

What I want to talk about is how just hilarious this movie is! I know this is one of the worst films ever made, but come on! It’s so damn funny! Just look at these sets, just look at the effects, just look at the dialogue, just look at the delivery of said dialogue!

I highly recommend this as a “so bad it’s good movie,” just get drunk (if you are over 21 in my country at least) and have fun!

RATING:

4/10 (probably deserves a 1, but I love this movie so much that I’m rating it a 4)

Also don’t worry, not all the films I review in this series will be “so bad it’s good,” some of them truly ARE terrible movies. You’ll see.

Star Wars (1977) – Movie Review

I did say that the next film I was gonna review would be Iron Man, but I re-watched this film for Film School, specifically for my Screenwriting, Sound, and Editing courses.

Anyway, this classic film was released in 1977, directed by George Lucas, and stars Mark Hammil, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher (may she rest in peace), and literally everyone knows the story so there’s nothing new for me to add there.

Anyway… What a movie. So shockingly ahead of its time, yet came out at the exact right time. This is a masterpiece, no doubt. I really love the use of the clear influence from Akira Kurosawa, right down to the story being inspired by The Hidden Fortress (1958). Han Solo is fantastic, Princess Leia is likable, Chewbacca is such a creative character, I love C-3PO and R2D2, Darth Vader is a classic villain… The characters are all wonderful, even if I’m not a fan of Luke in this. Yeah I said it. He’s really whiny and even annoying at times. The dialogue and world building is incredible too.

But enough about that. All craft departments are nailed. The music is iconic, the sound design is incredible, the editing 100% on point, and so are the special effects…

On that subject, I will focus on something else, since there is nothing more I can add to this film that everybody else and their grandma has already talked about: the Special Editions (I watched the 2004 Special Edition for this viewing, since that was the most accessible copy I had a the time). I know the unnecessary added CGI animal bullshit sucks, I know Greedo shooting first sucks, I know the Jabba scene sucks. All of those changes are terrible and make me want to see the theatricals in high-definition even more.

But some of the more subtle changes are actually really good in my opinion. This includes the visual effects touch ups of the Falcon, Sand Crawler, and other ships, all the ADR lines and sound effects, the shot of the hallway hangar full of stormtroopers, updating the lightsaber colors in Ben Kenobi vs. Vader, replacing the crowds at the end with sand in actors, Obi-Wan’s call in this version (the 2011 one sucks) etc.

Anyway enough about that. The film is fun, action packed, and has wonderful characters. What’s not to like?

RATING:

9/10

How I Criticize and Compare Movies

I should start by saying that this is not an explanation of my rating system, but rather why I rate blockbusters high like I rate arthouse films.

See, legendary Hollywood director Martin Scorsese recently elaborated on his thoughts on the Marvel Cinematic Universe (which has been met with a lot of dismay from MCU fans), where he said that the Marvel films in general do not have the same “artistic” integrity like anything from auteur directors such as Ari Aster, Paul Thomas Anderson, Katheryn Bigelow, Spike Lee, Wes Anderson, Claire Denis, etc. (speaking of which, I need to review more films from my favorite directors…).

And if you want my opinion… He’s right. The Marvel Cinematic Universe and other big franchises like the X-Men and the DCEU sometimes can make truly good, sometimes great movies, but to truly call them art I feel is a bad idea. In the end, these films are made for money, and that’s it.

HOWEVER: Even if a film is made for money and not artistic intent, I will still enjoy it as long as it is a well rounded, well made film. Most of the Marvel Cinematic Universe as well as some of the DCEU and X-Men movies are good, well made movies.

Therefore, when I give a blockbuster film like Iron Man, the next film I plan to review, a high rating, keep in mind that it doesn’t at all mean I think it’s on par with or even comparable to arthouse films that I’ve reviewed or seen, like The Seventh Seal or anything from Kurosawa. Because they are not. Same goes for the other way around.

TL;DR: I do not judge blockbusters the same way I judge artistically made films.

Criterion Collection Marathon 5 – The Seventh Seal (1957)

The Seventh Seal was released in 1957, was directed by Ingmar Bergman and stars Max von Sydow, Gunnar Björnstrand, and many others. Set in Sweden during the Black Death, it follows a knight, played by von Sydow, as he literally played Chess with death.

I’m going to say this: this is my first official full watch of an Ingmar Bergman movie! I know I need to watch more of him, and I will.

Honestly, there’s a lot to unravel here with the title and themes alone. The title itself is a reference to the Book of Revelation (“When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.”, Revelation 8:1), and one of the many themes in the film is the “silence of God.” Thus, in the confessional scene von Sydow’s character states: “Is it so cruelly inconceivable to grasp God with the senses? Why should He hide himself in a mist of half-spoken promises and unseen miracles?…What is going to happen to those of us who want to believe but aren’t able to?” And guess what? Death does NOT reply. What a brilliant theme, and this film portrays that really well!

As a Christian I find this film in general to be very thought-provoking and intelligently written, but also very artistically crafted. I highly recommend this film.

RATING:

9/10

Criterion Collection Marathon 4 – High and Low (1963)

High and Low was directed by Akira Kurosawa (one of my favorite directors), was released in 1963, and stars Toshiro Mifune, Tatsuya Nakadai, and Kyoko Kagawa. It follows an executive of a shoe company as he becomes a victim of extortion when someone is kidnapped for ransom.

This has slowly become one of my favorite movies of all time. Almost everything in this film, from the writing, to the performances, to the music, to the cinematography, to the pacing, is so perfectly done that I am just in awe. I do consider this to be one of Kurosawa’s best works, and tied up there with Ikiru (1952) as his best film that doesn’t have samurai in it.

Toshiro Mifune as Kingo Gondo especially shines in this movie, both the excellently written character and the performance. Mifune is slowly becoming one of my favorite actors of all time, thanks to his performances from here, Seven Samurai, Rashomon, and more.

I don’t like it quote as much as something like Seven Samurai, which I consider to be one of the greatest films of all time, however this is absolutely worth a watch from everyone, and in my opinion is a perfect movie.

RATING:

10/10

Criterion Collection Marathon 3 – Amarcord (1974)

Note: when I list the release year of a movie in my review, I usually use the official USA wide release year and/or the year it was nominated for an Oscar for, so this counts as 1974, not 1973.

Amarcord was released in 1974 and was directed by Federico Fellini. I should say that this is my first film of his that I’ve seen at all, and I’ve heard that this is where to start with his filmography. It follows a young Italian teenager named Titta in 1930’s fascist Italy, as he goes through all kinds of trouble and all kinds of colorful characters throughout the course of the film in one year.

And I think that’s honestly the best part of this movie; the colorful characters and the larger-than-life experience that it gives the viewer. The writing and directing is fantastic. It’s small-scale, very funny, and often dream-like even.

That being said, while I don’t think this is a flawed film per se, I also don’t really see this as a masterpiece or anything. It is admittedly very close to one, but the things that hold it back from being a true masterpiece are that it didn’t leave much of an impact on me, and some craft aspects of the film, while none of them are less than great, some of them are just not that exceptional to me.

Either way, I love this movie, and I look forward to seeing more Fellini films throughout this marathon and in the future.

RATING:

8/10

Criterion Collection Marathon 2 – The Lady Vanishes (1938)

So before I begin, I should say I’ve decided to rename this marathon to the “Criterion Collection” marathon since I will be watching some films that are not officially on the Criterion Channel.

Anyway, onto the review:

The Lady Vanishes, a mystery, was released in 1938 and was directed by Alfred Hitchcock, one of my all-time favorite directors. Based on the 1936 novel The Wheel Spins by Ethel Lina White, the story follows an English tourist who is going by train through continental Europe, who discovers that her companion seems to have disappeared from the train.

This is one of Alfred Hitchcock’s last British films, but it’s also one of his best that I’ve seen. Thanks to his directorial style, the wonderful cast, all craft departments, and the thrilling script make this film exceptional. The opening shot and the opening dialogue alone had me hooked, and the whole film is that thrilling. This film has me hooked on the edge of my seat for almost the entire movie!

I highly recommend it to everyone, as this 1938 movie might actually be a great place to start with Alfred Hitchcock’s filmography. That is, if you haven’t seen the rest of his films already.

RATING:

9/10

Criterion Channel Marathon 1 – Seven Samurai (1954)

So, I’m back to reviewing films on this blog (how long has it been?). Mostly because I yesterday purchased a membership on the Criterion Channel, and wanted to review every film I see, starting with my favorite film of all time, Seven Samurai.

I’ve seen this film so many times and I still can’t believe I haven’t reviewed it!

This review has spoilers.

Seven Samurai, which was released in 1954, is my favorite movie of all time. It’s not the best film I’ve ever seen (although it is in the top three), that would be The Godfather, but it’s my favorite movie. Directed by the legendary Akira Kurosawa, who is my second favorite director behind Stanley Kubrick, this is one of the best films of all time for a reason. Seven Samurai tells the tale of a farming village threatened by an army of 40+ bandits, and several of the farmers (some more likable than others) go out to recruit seven Samurai, each with a distinct personality, backstory, and skill set.

The film is the most exciting film I’ve ever seen. It manages to be better at getting a team together and having high stakes and having incredible action scenes than anything in the MCU. The story is very creative for its time, as well as engaging. The action scenes are the best I’ve ever seen, with them feeling more epic than they appear on paper.

The characters are some of the best written characters of all time in my opinion. Kikuchiyo, played by Toshiro Mifune in my all-time favorite performance, is my favorite character of all time. Another character that shines a lot in this film is Kambei, played brilliantly by Takashi Shimura, as the old, kind leader of the Samurai. I also really like Kyūzō, the silent badass character. If I were to nitpick one thing in this entire movie it’s that Gorobei, the co-leader and strategist character, doesn’t have that much to do in the second half of the movie. He kills one bandit with a bow and arrow, but I wish he had more to do. On top of that, he dies off-screen! Shame, as I really like his character as well. Oh well, no film is perfect.

I adore every technical aspect of this movie. The cinematography is perfect. The sound is perfect (for the time). The art direction is perfect. The editing is perfect. Everything is perfect in that regard. Not one complaint there.

This film is long, at 3 hours and 27 minutes in length, but not one scene is gratuitous and it never feels like a chore to watch.

Overall, my favorite film of all time, and I wish everyone can see this film once in their lifetime.

RATING:

10/10

Captain Marvel (2019) – Movie Review

Captain Marvel was directed by Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck and stars Brie Larson,  Samuel L. Jackson, Ben Mendelsohn, and Jude Law. It is the twenty-first (!) installment of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, or MCU.

It takes place in the 1990’s (specially 1995) and follows “Vers,” a warrior of the Kree Empire, and her team of forgettable (more on this later) Kree warriors trying to eliminate the galaxy of Skrulls, which are shapeshifters and apparently the enemy to the Kree. Vers lands on Earth, and with the help of Jackson’s younger version of his character Nick Fury, they try to eliminate the Skrulls from the world, while also uncovering mysteries about Vers’ past and whether the Kree really are the “good guys” or not.

I’m not gonna lie, this film was not for me at all. It was so generic and forgettable, that I could not formulate my thoughts on this film until now, even though it’s been a while since I’ve seen the movie.

I’ll start with some positives: The art direction. The production and costume design, makeup, and the visual effects, ESPECIALLY the de-aging effects, are fantastic, and are standouts in the MCU. I really dug the look of the film in that department. Although the cinematography was bland overall with average shot composition and drab color correction, it was also a very well-lit film. Lighting is a huge aspect of cinematography, and that was thankfully nailed, even though the other aspects of it certainly were not. I also thought Ben Mendelsohn played a genuinely good character and he gave a nice, standout performance. Also Goose the Cat. I liked Goose the Cat a lot. Some of the dialogue also isn’t that bad, there’s some nice humor here and there.

Otherwise, this film is generic. Not terrible, but certainly not good. The story is incredibly predictable. The characters are all mostly wooden, except Ben Mendelsohn’s. The acting and directing, even from Brie Larson who I normally like, is mostly just “meh,” again except for Mendelsohn. The score and the soundtrack was forgettable, even in the supposed emotional climax of the movie. The editing was just fine.

I have so little to say about this movie. This is probably tied with Ant-Man and the Wasp as the worst of the Phase 3 MCU films, and I do not recommend it. It’s such a shame, as I LOVED the Wonder Woman movie, and was hoping this was going to be just as good as that, especially with an Oscar-winning actress at the helm (no offense to Gadot, but Larson has a better track record than she does). I was wrong.

RATING:

5/10

Twelve Monkeys (1995) – Movie Review

Twelve Monkeys was directed by Terry Gilliam, was released in 1995, and stars Bruce Willis, Madeleine Stowe, and Brad Pitt.

Following a deadly virus that wiped out most of mankind, the survivors that live underground in 2035 are attempting to send people back in time to the late 90’s (specifically 1996) to prevent this disaster from happening. They send James Cole (played by Willis), but unfortunately send him six years before the disaster. Due to this, nobody believes Cole when he emerges, and he is hospitalized in a mental hospital. This is all while Cole has recurring mysterious dreams of a chase and shooting at an airport.

Let me get to the positives of this great film first: The direction and all performances. They are phenomenal. This film contains one of my favorite performances from both Willis and Brad Pitt, and booooy is that saying something! In fact, I’d argue that the performances and direction are what truly saves the movie

The art direction and cinematography are also fantastic, and although I have not seen many Terry Gilliam films in full, this feels like his style. And boy, do I love it! Apparently, the appearance of the interrogation room where Cole is being interviewed by the scientists was based on the work of Lebbeus Woods; these scenes were shot at three different power stations (two in Philadelphia and one in Baltimore). Gilliam intended to show Cole being interviewed through a multi-screen interrogation TV set because he felt the machinery evoked a “nightmarish intervention of technology. You try to see the faces on the screens in front of you, but the real faces and voices are down there and you have these tiny voices in your ear. To me that’s the world we live in, the way we communicate these days, through technical devices that pretend to be about communication but may not be.”

The musical score is also very good, and I really got into it. It was composed, arranged, and conducted by English musician Paul Buckmaster, and I really like it.

Unfortunately, there is one REALLY big problem: The story. WOW is it ever convoluted, bizarrely structured, confusing, and tonally inconsistent. I had to look up the full plot of this film after watching it today just to get an idea of what happened! This film makes Inception seem to be the most easy to follow story on the planet!

Either way, I highly recommend this film, to fans of Terry Gilliam and film fans in general.

RATING:

8/10